At the mercy of my income

Do you have any idea what it’s like to be
On the corner of almost and what it takes to succeed

Running on empty, pretending not to bleed
Always wanting for the things that you need

None of which are things you can buy
Only things you can have if you try

To do something new
To push on the edges of what you think you can do

When you re-write the rules of what you know to be true
When you release the anchors that keep pulling on you

And that’s the thing I wish I could do
But it’s hard when money keeps on stopping you

You see, I haven’t felt this low in a really long time
And it feels like I just got placed at the end of a really long line

I’ve been at the mercy of my income for such a long time
And I just want to get not having money off of my mind

From the moment I wake up
To the time I go to sleep

How much can I spend
How much should I keep

How much can I borrow
Before I’ve gone too deep

Because the money game is always the same
Like the Sahara, it just won’t rain

Always the thing causing the most pain
Always the thing we all want to blame

A constant chase
We all want the fame

A steady race
We all play the game

A common state
We all feel the same

A destined fate
We’re all to blame

By: Raymmar Tirado

I wrote this poem at a pretty low moment in my life. I had recently decided I was only going to work for myself moving forward, but had not yet figured out how to make any money doing that.

Since then things have stabilized, but there is always this lingering notion that one wrong step could set me right back to where I was. So for anyone out there dreaming about doing something bigger with your life but keep finding financial hurdles along the way, this one is for you.  May you find strength in those low moments and the power to keep pushing forward.